He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
