Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
