You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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