You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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