i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
