ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
