So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
