he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
