I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
