idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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