thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
