why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's blow job season.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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