I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
