3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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