i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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