His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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