That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
