So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
