She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
