I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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