no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
