turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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