had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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