My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
