I just made out with a guy for $7.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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