He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
