Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
