you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
