I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
