Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
