I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
