and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize