We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
