Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
