I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
