TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
