Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
