what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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