i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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