I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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