drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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