and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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