ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
