Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
