is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
