i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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