glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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