We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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