I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just found a bag of teeth...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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