1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
