I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
