Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
